Because it aches me today, to be still far from knowing my child, to not yet have seen their face or hold them in my arms:
I will teach my child about love. I am not afraid to teach my child about love, though it makes others uneasy. You may wonder what I will teach my child about love, so let me tell you.
I will teach my child first about life, because love derives from the joy of life. Although I do not understand everything about life, or its meaning, I will teach my child that this world has a deep structure, that this life means something.
I will teach my child that the root of love for others is love for self. I will teach my child self love. I will teach my child always to find themselves, to learn and discover who they are and what, and that when they find the path to their own self, they will find love pour into their lives. I will teach them that this is a confusing path, and who they will be may at times be hard to see, or even change, but I will teach them always to search, and to not fear what they find inside themselves. I will teach my child that this will be the most important thing they ever do.
I do not know whether my child will be boy child or girl child, both or neither. Even when I meet them I may still not know. But I will teach them that their truth is flickering inside them already. I will teach my child to always celebrate the pursuit of who they are, and if they lose their way, I will love them for the dream that flickers still inside them, and I will coax that flame to roar again. I do not know whether my child will be girl child or boy child, neither or both, but I know their voice will be proud, and their love will be proud.
I will teach my child that their body is theirs. I will teach them to care for that body and safeguard it, and I will teach them to be willing to risk that body only of their own choosing. If I guard their right to make decisions over their body, as a mother, for a time, I will teach them that I do so only for a time, and that I guard a right that has always been and can only be theirs. I will teach my child that no other body can ever belong to them. I will teach my child that the giving or receiving of the gift of another’s body is sacred, to be feared because it is powerful but not because it is wrong.
I shall teach my child so that my child will grow from a young age to know what true love is, through my true love for them. Though I shall always give thanks to the mother that birthed my child, and I will always celebrate her sacrifice, I shall teach my child knowing the truth of my own motherhood was never in doubt, and the truth of my love for my child that derives from that truth. I shall teach my child that true love was how I came to find them, searching for them and fearing for them lost without me, and I shall teach them that my anchor in my wandering search was my own true love for their father, who found me when I needed him most, for whom I had always been looking.
I will teach my child that the bond between me and their father prince is more powerful than any of us can understand, and that no one could separate me from him, but I will teach my child that our love prince for princess and princess for prince, grows not weaker but stronger because of our love for our child. I shall teach my child that they will never have to vie for my love, or earn it, and that they cannot be separated from it, for my love runs truer and deeper than my body or my life, and though I do not know everything that comes after death, I will teach them that it can never separate my child from my love. I will teach my child to know safety by knowing love
I will teach my child that magic is exceeding rare in this world, but that it does exist, and because it exists, although they are very rare, true love and love at first sight are real. I will teach my child that, like precious stones, because they are uncommon does not make them unreal. I will teach my child this from personal experience, and although I do not know if my child will be lucky enough to have such experience, they will know to recognize it if they should ever have that chance.
I will teach my child that, while most of the time, princes look for the princess of their dreams, and princesses brave adventures to find their prince, like I braved and I found mine, that this is not always what happens, that some princes find princes to share their castles, and some princesses find princesses, and their fairy tales do not take away from each other, but strengthen each other. I will teach my child they may love one or many, for years or days, and I will teach my child to rejoice in every love they have, and to build their lovers up and expect to be built up by those who love them.
I shall teach my child, too, that whether they celebrate their scars in private or openly, they must celebrate their scars, for each scar makes their love more precious, each one refines and strengthens its power and magic.
I will teach my child that, though they are a child of magic, that I bestow on them that rare candle that burns so infrequently in our world, and that they carry that candle and pass it on to others, love that comes from magic need have no fear of the ordinary rules of the world, which do not choose according to love but logic. I shall teach them to learn and know all those rules, too, and this too will make my child’s love stronger.
All of this and more, will I teach my child about love, because my child will know about love.